Fostering an Inclusive Atmosphere

Quarter One is complete and we have begun the second half of the semester.  Senora Araiza and Senora Wolfe's advisory partnership are the current Advisory Contest Champions!  They were quite successful at completing song lyrics, answering riddles, tying shoes, throwing paper airplanes and more!  To celebrate they have been treated to a pizza party.  Now a new set of contests will occur and everyone is even again!

This past week in Advisory we focused on diversity, appreciation for ourselves and how we are strong when we bring all of our individual differences together.  Students worked to create "leaves" that represent their individuality and the leaves are being assembled on a "Diversity Tree" by a team of very creative 8th grade students!  Here's a sneak peak at some of the leaves, I'll be sure to post a picture of the tree when it is complete.

In light of our school wide look into appreciating what makes us diverse, I thought I would share that I have recently attended a workshop to be Safe Space trained through the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). The aim of this training is to increase knowledge of and sensitivity to LGBTQ topics, challenges and experiences.  I went to strengthen my ability to be an effective ally and advocate for all students and families at Pembroke Hill.  At the workshop I gained an updated list of resources that may interest you.

• Kansas City Passages Youth Center www.kcpassages.org/site
• Center for LGBTQ youth ages 14-20.  Programs to encourage personal growth and social interaction
• The Transgender Institute of Kansas City www.transinstitute.org
• Gender Identity therapy and referrals to endocrinologists, surgeons, cosmetologists
• Like Me Lighthouse likemelighthouse.org
• Safe space for LGBT individuals and their families.  Provides resources, outreach and community 
• Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays of Kansas City (PFLAG-KC) www.pflagkc.org
• Provide a support system for families and friends of LGBT youth
• Perform Out KC www.performoutkc.org
• Inclusive atmosphere for youth of all identities to excel in the performing arts
• The Trevor Project - LGBT Youth Hotline 1-866-488-7386

Making A Wish Come True!

Greetings Parents!

This fall we introduced our students to Haley, a 6 year old girl with juvenile myelomonocytic leukemia (JMML).  Her wish is to swim with the dolphins this spring and our job is to make that wish come true by raising the $5,000 needed to cover the cost of the trip.  The Kids for Wish Kids program is a division of Make-A-Wish Foundation that partners with schools to bring character education into action.  Through this program our students are developing their:

• Respect - Understanding the difficulties another faces when battling a life-threatening illness and the impact on his/her life, as well as the other members of his/her family.  Students are also challenged to work together to create fundraising opportunities, putting them in positions of needing to hear each other's ideas and work cooperatively.
• Compassion - Students are building empathy for Haley and other seriously ill children in our community.  They are finding ways to put their wants second, in order to positively impact the life of another.
• Scholarship - Students are exercising their creative problem-solving capabilities.  They are focused on an end goal and see their efforts as integral to finding success.  There will be roadblocks along the way that will require perseverance and continual determination to maneuver.  
• Integrity - In the Kids for Wish Kids guide for schools they have chosen integrity building as part of their vision for the program.  They approach every aspect of their work with honesty and transparency in honoring the needs of the wish recipient, their families and supporters.  We are challenging our students to keep this critical piece of the process in mind as they strive to meet our goal.  

The impact of this program is fairly amazing, as you can see.  It gets better than this though!  81% of wish kid parents observe an increased willingness by their child to comply with treatment while they are being sponsored for a wish.  89% of doctors, nurses and social workers say they believe the wish experience influences the child's physical health.  97% of wish families and 96% of health care professionals observe an increase in the child's emotional health.  Lastly, 97% of families say the wish experience strengthened their family.

Already through their own efforts, our students have raised $861.00!!!  Many more fundraising ideas are on their way, and students are always welcome to make a "just because" donation at any time.  These can be given to their adviser or brought to me.  What an inspiring and worthy cause - and your children are rising to the challenge - amazing!

What You Need to Know About Individual Counseling At School

So far this year, I have spoken individually with 30 students.  Each student brings a unique perspective into my office and faces unique challenges.  I am fortunate to work in a position in which I have the ability to get to know so many students on an individual basis, as well as the opportunity to stay with them for three years to watch how they grow.

Much of what occurs in the counseling office is unseen by others.  While that provides privacy and piece of mind for many, it also creates space for confusion or misunderstanding about the role of the school counselor in this capacity.  So today, I'd like to shed a little light on the individual counseling that occurs in my room.

Most students seek out their school counselor for conflict with a peer or teacher.  I can provide a safe place to vent, as well as a place to begin the critical thinking process necessary to reach a resolution.  I am here to follow up with the student(s) and or teacher(s) involved and either continue the problem solving process or give congrats to those who made it work.

Other times I may talk to a student about a personal or family concern.  These meetings are usually self-referred by the student.  Occasionally a peer will suggest that someone they know at school might need some extra support and in that case I will follow up and check on the student.  At any point I believe there is a safety concern or that a student would benefit from additional counseling outside of school I will contact the parent.

When students talk with a school counselor they share their hopes, their worries, their unique selves; in essence, they share what makes them vulnerable and human.  A school counselor has the responsibility to honor those things that make each student an individual, affirming and encouraging them through life's daily challenges.  As one might imagine, trust is central to this process and takes time to build.  Trust is established through listening, understanding, empathy and confidentiality.  Students know when they talk with me that what they say is confidential.  The American School Counselor Association ethical codes discuss confidentiality at length  At the heart of the ethical codes are these tenants:

• Inform students of the right to confidentiality and the limits of confidentiality
• Share the importance and limits of confidentiality with the school community through various methods
• Recognize and respect the complicated nature of maintaining confidentiality in schools
• Protect students safety through disclosure to appropriate adults when a situation presents forseeable harm
•  Follow mandated reporting  and FERPA laws
• Balance a student's right to confidentiality with an obligation to parents/guardians in supporting them as the primary influence in their child's life
• Promote autonomy of students, while considering their developmental age and circumstances

In my daily conversations with students, faculty and parents I will protect student confidentiality to the fullest extent possible.  I talk with students about this right to privacy, but we also discuss other adults that could be beneficial to include.  Often students want to share with their parents, advisor, or other key adults in the school, so as to build a strong support network for themselves.  We discuss what is appropriate to share with whom and how to go about doing that.  I try to be transparent with students about who I talk to regarding their situation.  Middle school is a time in which students begin to understand themselves as their own person and learn who they are.  They crave privacy and understanding, even when they feel no one can possibly understand them.  So much is delicate during these three years of life, and school counselors are in a unique position to support students in their personal growth by treating them with dignity, respecting their values/beliefs, and offering a confidential setting to talk through whatever may be on their mind.

Wellness Lessons Have Begun!

One of my favorite parts of my work as a school counselor is to be in the classroom talking with students.  This time allows me to interact with ALL students.  I have found that a successful school counseling program must reach each and every student in the building, working to understand and meet their needs.  At Pembroke Hill I do this in a variety of ways: Advisory lessons, partnering with the English department, visiting World Cultures classes, working with Mr. Bartelli and Mrs. Viene to develop Digital Citizenship lessons and also working through a division of the PE program called Wellness.  For this fall in Wellness I met with Lynn O'Toole, the Wellness Coordinator, to plan lessons I am sharing with the students about social relationships, stress management, conflict resolution, and more.  You can view a working document regarding our Wellness schedule at this link: Wellness Curriculum Outline 2014-2015.

In past years we have used a program called "Step-Up Sisterhood" with our 6th grade girls and our own modified version for the 6th grade boys.  The program has many wonderful benefits and was created by a well-respected youth organization in Kansas City called Synergy Services.  I myself had used "Step-Up" at previous schools and was excited to know Pembroke Hill also supported the program.  At the same time I have been doing more research and professional development concerning how to support boys in middle school with the social pressures they face.  Through that process I learned that Rosalind Wiseman, who wrote Queen Bees and Wannabees, has been engaged in work to change the way we talk about adolescent boys.  Intrigued, I jumped into reading her work, watching her speak at the American School Counselor Association National Conference, and exploring her school resources.  Let me tell you, I have been so very impressed!  As a result, we have decided to add a new resource to our Wellness tool-kit called Owning Up: Empowering Adolescents to Confront Social Cruelty, Bullying and Injustice.

Owning Up is guiding my work with all grade levels this fall.  The curriculum offers ideas specifically for young adolescent girls and boys, as well as ideas to support students as they mature. "Step Up" activities will still be included to support the message we are giving to students: Everyone's personal authenticity is connected to his/her right to be treated with dignity and his/her responsibility to treat others the same.

Students will be taught the SEAL strategy and as I work with students this year to address conflict and the messy, difficult social situations that arise in middle school, I will refer to this strategy to help them solve their own problems.  I want to share the SEAL strategy with you so that, if you so choose, you may use it in your conversations at home.  SEAL stands for:

S - Stop

Breathe, observe, and ask yourself what the situation is about.  Decide when and where you can talk to the person so the person will be most likely to listen to you

E - Explain

Take your bad feelings and put them into words - be specific about what you don’t like and what you want instead.  Think about what you are feeling and what you want first so that you can then tell the other person

A - Affirm and acknowledge

Affirm your right (and the other person’s right) to interact with other people without being ridiculed, dismissed or harmed.  If appropriate, acknowledge your part in contributing to the situation

L - Lock

Lock in the friendship: Decide to resolve the situation and continue being friends

OR

Lock out the friendship: Decide you can’t be friends and want no further contact with the person

OR

Take a vacation: Decide to take a break from the friendship but agree to talk later about reestablishing the friendship

Students do or will (depending on grade level) have access to this strategy in their Wellness Document in their Google Drive. Consider asking your child to show you this document and discuss what they are doing in Wellness with them.

If you'd like to learn more about Owning Up and/or Rosalind Wiseman, her website is a great place to start: http://rosalindwiseman.com/. Parents of boys may be particularly interested in learning about her new, free e-book written by teenage boys (with her assistance) for teenage boys. This book actually has two versions. The original version was titled by the boys who partnered with Wiseman and their sub-title had a word ("douchebags") that is clearly offensive to many, so there is also a version for schools that uses the work "jerks" in the sub-title instead. Both can be found in the Publications drop down menu on the home page under "The Guide: For Guys" or "The Guide: For Schools."

See Something, Say Something

Friday afternoon we closed out the week with an all school assembly.  We cheered for our returning students, as well as the students that have joined us this year.  We were even led in cheers by the high school cheer team!  It was a very fun filled assembly!

However, Dr. Leonard did take a moment to share an easy to remember motto with students, "See Something, Say Something."  This was presented to us as a staff in a school security meeting prior to the start of the school year.  See Something, Say Something was shared with our students in regards to the ways we interact with each other.  Later this week in Advisory students will talk through this motto together.  They will be asked to talk about the following questions:

1. What are things you might see that need to be shared for the good of others?
2. What would you say in response and to whom?

We will also tie "See Something, Say Something" to our four values of Respect, Compassion, Scholarship and Integrity.  

I also wanted to take a moment to share some more information with you about what school counselors do.  I like this document, The Role of the School Counselor, as an overview.  This year I will be seeing students for guidance lessons in Wellness classes and interjecting some lessons into the Advisory program.  Lessons are based on these Guidance Curriculum Standards.  I am also available to meet with students individually or in small groups on an as needed basis.  Students are welcome to stop by, send me an email or fill out a counselor request slip (on my door and in the main office) to arrange a time to talk.  

Advisory at PHS Middle School

We are off and running, and running quite smoothly at that!  Each student has met with their adviser today and gotten a bit of an introduction into what happens during Advisory time.  Advisory can be a difficult thing to define, as it is a flexible time in our day that allows for a variety of activities.  Here's what we can tell you with certainty about our Advisory program:

In the middle school, the Advisory program is designed to be mission-based, meaning it is reflective of the mission of our school.

Mission of PHS: The mission of The Pembroke Hill School is to enable all students to build character and to develop their intellectual, physical and creative abilities to the highest level

A mission-based Advisory program is:

• evaluated on the basis of service to the mission
• is focused on student engagement, but “engagement” is not always about having fun
• the cultural tendency is toward embracing the role of the adviser along with other mission-based, professional responsibilities
• activities involve students in a variety of ways and regularly engage them in reflecting on their learning experience
• parents regularly hear from advisers, administrators and others at school about what occurs in advisory and how students benefit from the program

The role of the adviser is to be a/an:

• advocate
• mentor
• encourager
• facilitator
• front-line contact

An adviser is not:

• disciplinarian
• friend
• counselor

Advisory Goals and Priorities 2014

RELATIONSHIPS * ONE-ON-ONES * CONTESTS * ROTATIONS * SERVICE LEARNING

Relationships

• Time set aside to socialize and activities to get to know each other
• Assisting our 8th grade students as mentors for the 6th and 7th grade
• Enhancing our RESPECT for ourselves and others
• Developing COMPASSION for those in our PHS and KC community

One-on-Ones

• Completed as Mid-Quarters are sent out
• Time will be set aside to meet with each advisee individually
• Nurturing our advisees understanding of SCHOLARSHIP

Contests

• Simple, Friday only contests
• Mostly designed by Student Advisory Panel
• To increase our relationships with our partner advisory groups, quarterly contest scores will be calculated as partners
• Practicing INTEGRITY in a fun way

Rotations

• Thursdays of Blue Week we will again have advisory rotations
• Will allow for 6th grade transition activities, 8th grade leadership activities, iPad support, study skills, study hall, open gym and additional announcements given there is no assembly on Blue Week
• Opportunities to focus on all 4 Values (RESPECT, COMPASSION, SCHOLARSHIP, INTEGRITY)

Service Learning

• Kids for Wish Kids - flexibility for each advisory to get involved as much or as little as they would like
• No planned service project during winter holidays, instead focusing on Make-A-Wish
• Coming together as a school with COMPASSION to make a difference for someone else

2014-15 Here We Come!

I have always been one of those people who gets excitedly anxious for a new school year.  The clean notebooks, new folders, the excuse to buy cute post-its - yup, sign me up!  But, of course, there is also the warm greetings - seeing my co-workers and the students again, establishing ourselves in a new year of our lives - this is the true joy of school for me.  In one week the halls outside my office will once again be filled with talkative teenagers - yahoo!!

Yet with the start of anything new (whether it's a new school, new building or new grade) it is perfectly normal to feel some nervousness.  And because no two teens are exactly alike, this nervous feeling shows itself in many different forms.  Some teens appear more tired, others have increased mood swings, still other teens will demonstrate apathy toward school, while others will come right out and tell us they feel worried.  So what do we do about it?  Usually we don't need to intervene too much.  But just in case, here are a few ideas:

• It can very helpful to hear that feeling anxiety over a change is completely normal and most of the students returning to school this fall feel somewhat nervous. Share with your teen how you approach new situations, believe it or not, they do value what you have to say!
• Coming up to school to practice your student's locker combination, find their classrooms and visit the bookstore are also simple ways to ease into the new year. 
•  I could go on and on about the benefits of sleep.  Try to get your teen to bed at a time that would give them at least 8 hours of sleep, more if you can.  You know how lovely tired teens are, right? It's more than just attitude though, our ability to cope with life's demands is so much stronger with a brain functioning at full capacity.
• Plan something special to do with your teen after their first day of school.  I'm thinking of taking my kids to a cupcake place, not the healthiest I know, but they will look forward to it because it's something we rarely do and we can talk about their day over a treat.
• Reach out - contact your student's adviser, Dr. Leonard, Mr. Carolan, Mr. Robertson, Mrs. Van Ness or myself.  It makes us feel needed and it means you don't have to support your teen on your own - win-win!

With all this talk of preparing for school to start, it's also important to remember to just enjoy the last days of summer.  My last day of summer was spent watching my 5 year old son master riding his bike without training wheels!  A perfect day for us to cherish as we move on to the school year.  (Side note - my apologies if I am teary the first day of school - he starts Kindergarten this year and my baby girl begins pre-school!!!! I may need tips from all of you!)  I hope you and your family create some fun memories this week.  Be sure to stop in and say hi this fall!  

Cheers to a new year!