What You Need to Know About Individual Counseling At School

So far this year, I have spoken individually with 30 students.  Each student brings a unique perspective into my office and faces unique challenges.  I am fortunate to work in a position in which I have the ability to get to know so many students on an individual basis, as well as the opportunity to stay with them for three years to watch how they grow.

Much of what occurs in the counseling office is unseen by others.  While that provides privacy and piece of mind for many, it also creates space for confusion or misunderstanding about the role of the school counselor in this capacity.  So today, I'd like to shed a little light on the individual counseling that occurs in my room.

Most students seek out their school counselor for conflict with a peer or teacher.  I can provide a safe place to vent, as well as a place to begin the critical thinking process necessary to reach a resolution.  I am here to follow up with the student(s) and or teacher(s) involved and either continue the problem solving process or give congrats to those who made it work.

Other times I may talk to a student about a personal or family concern.  These meetings are usually self-referred by the student.  Occasionally a peer will suggest that someone they know at school might need some extra support and in that case I will follow up and check on the student.  At any point I believe there is a safety concern or that a student would benefit from additional counseling outside of school I will contact the parent.

When students talk with a school counselor they share their hopes, their worries, their unique selves; in essence, they share what makes them vulnerable and human.  A school counselor has the responsibility to honor those things that make each student an individual, affirming and encouraging them through life's daily challenges.  As one might imagine, trust is central to this process and takes time to build.  Trust is established through listening, understanding, empathy and confidentiality.  Students know when they talk with me that what they say is confidential.  The American School Counselor Association ethical codes discuss confidentiality at length  At the heart of the ethical codes are these tenants:

• Inform students of the right to confidentiality and the limits of confidentiality
• Share the importance and limits of confidentiality with the school community through various methods
• Recognize and respect the complicated nature of maintaining confidentiality in schools
• Protect students safety through disclosure to appropriate adults when a situation presents forseeable harm
•  Follow mandated reporting  and FERPA laws
• Balance a student's right to confidentiality with an obligation to parents/guardians in supporting them as the primary influence in their child's life
• Promote autonomy of students, while considering their developmental age and circumstances

In my daily conversations with students, faculty and parents I will protect student confidentiality to the fullest extent possible.  I talk with students about this right to privacy, but we also discuss other adults that could be beneficial to include.  Often students want to share with their parents, advisor, or other key adults in the school, so as to build a strong support network for themselves.  We discuss what is appropriate to share with whom and how to go about doing that.  I try to be transparent with students about who I talk to regarding their situation.  Middle school is a time in which students begin to understand themselves as their own person and learn who they are.  They crave privacy and understanding, even when they feel no one can possibly understand them.  So much is delicate during these three years of life, and school counselors are in a unique position to support students in their personal growth by treating them with dignity, respecting their values/beliefs, and offering a confidential setting to talk through whatever may be on their mind.