In past years we have used a program called "Step-Up Sisterhood" with our 6th grade girls and our own modified version for the 6th grade boys. The program has many wonderful benefits and was created by a well-respected youth organization in Kansas City called Synergy Services. I myself had used "Step-Up" at previous schools and was excited to know Pembroke Hill also supported the program. At the same time I have been doing more research and professional development concerning how to support boys in middle school with the social pressures they face. Through that process I learned that Rosalind Wiseman, who wrote Queen Bees and Wannabees, has been engaged in work to change the way we talk about adolescent boys. Intrigued, I jumped into reading her work, watching her speak at the American School Counselor Association National Conference, and exploring her school resources. Let me tell you, I have been so very impressed! As a result, we have decided to add a new resource to our Wellness tool-kit called Owning Up: Empowering Adolescents to Confront Social Cruelty, Bullying and Injustice.
Owning Up is guiding my work with all grade levels this fall. The curriculum offers ideas specifically for young adolescent girls and boys, as well as ideas to support students as they mature. "Step Up" activities will still be included to support the message we are giving to students: Everyone's personal authenticity is connected to his/her right to be treated with dignity and his/her responsibility to treat others the same.
Students will be taught the SEAL strategy and as I work with students this year to address conflict and the messy, difficult social situations that arise in middle school, I will refer to this strategy to help them solve their own problems. I want to share the SEAL strategy with you so that, if you so choose, you may use it in your conversations at home. SEAL stands for:
S - Stop
Breathe, observe, and ask yourself what the situation is about. Decide when and where you can talk to the person so the person will be most likely to listen to you
E - Explain
Take your bad feelings and put them into words - be specific about what you don’t like and what you want instead. Think about what you are feeling and what you want first so that you can then tell the other person
A - Affirm and acknowledge
Affirm your right (and the other person’s right) to interact with other people without being ridiculed, dismissed or harmed. If appropriate, acknowledge your part in contributing to the situation
L - Lock
Lock in the friendship: Decide to resolve the situation and continue being friends
OR
Lock out the friendship: Decide you can’t be friends and want no further contact with the person
OR
Take a vacation: Decide to take a break from the friendship but agree to talk later about reestablishing the friendship
Students do or will (depending on grade level) have access to this strategy in their Wellness Document in their Google Drive. Consider asking your child to show you this document and discuss what they are doing in Wellness with them.
If you'd like to learn more about Owning Up and/or Rosalind Wiseman, her website is a great place to start: http://rosalindwiseman.com/. Parents of boys may be particularly interested in learning about her new, free e-book written by teenage boys (with her assistance) for teenage boys. This book actually has two versions. The original version was titled by the boys who partnered with Wiseman and their sub-title had a word ("douchebags") that is clearly offensive to many, so there is also a version for schools that uses the work "jerks" in the sub-title instead. Both can be found in the Publications drop down menu on the home page under "The Guide: For Guys" or "The Guide: For Schools."
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