Advisories, Wellness and Groups - oh my!

Last week each advisory was tasked with the job of designing a pumpkin to look like their advisor.  Possibly one of the funniest things we will do this year!  The pumpkins are on display in our main office.  Mr Hennessy's advisory won based on how many people would comment on which pumpkin they liked while they sat in my office on Friday.  This week our advisories will be getting into costume to welcome the 2nd graders to the Ward Parkway Campus for their annual ghost walk.

The 6th grade girls have completed the curriculum component of the Step Up program.  On Wednesday November 6th they will celebrate the end of the program.  The 6th grade boys will begin their Step Up program during Wellness classes on Friday November 8th.  While it won't be exactly the same, the same general topics will be covered - bullying/conflict, self-esteem, friendships/peer relationships.  In  November, the 7th and 8th grade will discuss what it means to have a healthy self-concept, how to obtain and maintain self-esteem and creating a school environment that promotes positive self-image. 

I have been having a really great time getting to know some of the students through counseling groups.  The boys leadership group is currently putting a proposal together regarding a leadership activity for our school and the girls self-esteem/body image group has been exploring the power of our own perceptions of ourselves.  After break I plan to launch some stress management groups, so stay tuned for more information!

The things kids say and the things we say

BRRR!  The mornings are undeniably colder this week, but on these cold mornings I am so grateful to walk into a building filled with so much action and energy.   The best comment I heard this morning was, "Hey (name of student), are you shuffling everyday?" This was accompanied by dance moves and in reference to lyric Everyday, I'm shuffling in a popular song by LMFAO.  I'm still laughing!  I am especially grateful for the 7th graders who play chess outside my door each morning, their enthusiasm and lively conversation gives me the final boost to get going with my day!  One of these days I am going to play chess with them - I just need lessons!

As the mornings can sometimes require our determination to get going, Friday afternoons may challenge us to keep going.  However, this past Friday afternoon I was very much looking forward to traveling to the Lower School.  On Thursday we announced that Ms. Stallard's advisory had won the bullying PSA contest and therefore would travel to Curry Theater Friday in order to show their video to the 5th grade class.  The 5th graders were also able to view the videos from Mrs. Budzinski, Senora Araiza, and Ms. Stockman's advisory groups.  After watching the videos the floor was open for questions.  The students from Ms. Stallard's advisory were quite impressive in their ability to answer questions about bullying.  It was a proud moment for us all!

As we near the end of Bullying Prevention Month, I thought it might be helpful to share some ideas for discussing sensitive topics with teens at home. 

• First, and most important to discussing any topic with your child, is not to talk, but to listen.  Listening is the foundation for building trust with another person and helps to eliminate the "You don't understand" response.  Consistently offering to listen, without necessarily adding your own advice, will open the door for problem-solving oriented conversation later.  It may sound simple, but showing you are listening with your body language and repeating back what is being said to you ("Sounds like sometimes you worry you can't trust your friend") can go a long way in making your child feel heard.  Offer to listen even when it seems there is not a problem.  The students at Pembroke Hill frequently tell me that their parents are part of their support system, so I suspect you are already doing a fabulous job in this area!
•  Get the conversation started with open ended questions.  For example, "What was it like to get extra help from your math teacher today?" or "What did you and your friends talk about during lunch?"  If you are interested in discussing the conversations we've had in Wellness classes with them, you could even let them know what I've shared with you and ask, "What ways do you see students forming groups at your school?  Which groups do you think you spend the most time with?"
• We often want to swoop in with our own life experience and 20-20 hindsight to fix life's challenges for our kids - resist!  (Easier said than done!)  Ask them questions that help them reach their own conclusions if you can.  "What will you do the next time this happens?"  "When you did (fill in the blank), how did that change the situation?"
• Give them encouragement.  Notice the specific things they do and point them out.  Avoid generic statements such as, "You did a good job" and aim for statements that convey you have truly seen what your child is doing, like, "I noticed at your game that you make sure to say something to each of your teammates."  When life gets tough, students that feel good about who they are tend the fair better.  We can strengthen our children's sense of self when we comment on the little things they do that make them great and encourage their participation in activities they enjoy. 
• Similarly, encouraging your teen to help others provides a sense of empowerment for them.  As we have all experienced, it feels good to take actions that improve the lives of others.  Being someone who makes a positive impact, directly combats the helpless feelings that can sometime accompany life's stressful situations.

As always, I'm available to support you and your students as we navigate this crazy thing called middle school together!  Feel free to call, email, or stop by anytime!

Welcome to 2nd Quarter!

At the beginning of October, our Advisory program turned it's focus to the word Compassion.  We have been working hard to create bullying Public Service Announcements in Advisory and later this week a winning Advisory group will be selected to travel to the Lower School.  During this visit, they will share their PSA, and a couple runner-ups, with the 5th grade students in recognition of Bullying Prevention Month. 

Another shift for our Advisory program begins today.  Instead of competing for a pizza party this quarter, each Advisory will select a charity to play for.  School-wide we are collecting spare change for the entire quarter.  As we near our Winter Break, the Advisory with the most points earned through our weekly contests will be able to donate all the funds raised to the charity of their choice.  If you happen to come in to school anytime this quarter, please consider donating the change in your pocket to our cause!

Mrs. Kobolt has been invited into some of the Advisory classes to present a lesson regarding conflict resolution.  The focus is on helping students determine assertive ways to respond to conflict.  Students discuss passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive responses and the potential problems associated with approaching conflict in such a manner.  Assertiveness is presented as a respectful approach, that allows the student to voice their concerns and take into consideration the perspective of the other person as well.  Students are practicing these responses through role plays and discussion.

Wellness classes have been in on the act as well!  Step Up continues for the 6th grade girls this month.  At the conclusion of their program, Mrs. Kobolt will begin working with the 6th grade boys.  The last two weeks, the 7th and 8th grade participated in small group conversations with Mrs. Kobolt about bullying, gossiping, stereotyping, stress and peer pressure.  The students shared with Mrs. Kobolt their concerns and frustrations with these common middle school challenges and indicated an interest in continuing with Wellness lessons in the small group format for the remainder of the year.  To see a more detailed summary of the 16 small group conversations that occurred with Mrs. Kobolt, click here.  (Note: the language in this document is reflective of the words the students used.)

Lastly I wanted to share with you some updated photos of the brick wall posters.  Our 8th graders have clearly been busy finding Scholarship, Compassion and Integrity in the 6th and 7th grade students.  The bricks are almost all down!

Mental Health Awareness

Each year the first full week of October is recognized as Mental Health Awareness Week.  This campaign works to decrease negative stigma associated with being diagnosed with and treated for a mental illness, as well as to increase availability of quality mental health care in our country.  In recognition of this important week I wanted to share 3 resources with you.

1.       First is a link to fact sheets on commonly diagnosed mental illnesses by the National Alliance on Mental Illness.  It can be helpful to have some basic information about various diagnoses if you have a particular concern Fact Sheets.  I also want to share with you a guidebook for parents on adolescent depression that addresses self-harm and suicidal thinking  Family guide

2.       Second are two links about how we can help our children develop into mentally healthy adults.  40 Assets  What every child needs for good mental health

While our knowledge of mental illness is still developing and research is ongoing, the mental health community is getting stronger and more skilled at responding to various mental health needs in a variety of ways.  If you have any questions about the mental health of your child, I will be happy to talk them through with you anytime. 

Hand in hand with Mental Health Awareness Week, October is also Bullying Prevention Month.  Advisories are working hard to create bullying Public Service Announcements (PSAs) geared toward elementary students.  One advisory will be selected to travel to the Lower School and share their project with the 5^th grade students.  Through PE/Wellness classes, I am meeting with small groups of 7^th and 8^th grade students to get their input on the social issues facing our school.  While they don’t connect with the word “bullying,” they do have quite a bit to say on gossiping, stereotypes and cliques!  I have several more Wellness groups this week and will share their feedback with you in my next blog. 

Almost always when the topic of bullying arises, the conversation turns to cyber-safety.  I learned this week that Twitter has produced a safety tips for parents page, so I wanted to share that with you here.  Although it seems most PHS students are using Instagram over Twitter, the information applies to any social media site.  We plan to do much more with cyber-responsibility throughout the year.

I am slowly seeing more and more students become comfortable stopping in to say hi (the candy dish helps!) and I am hopeful that the uneasiness about talking with the counselor is starting to fade some.  I am using my Wellness conversations to debunk school counselor myths, but also I have been invited to attend several outings with each grade level.  This last week I had the pleasure of joining the 7^th grade at Overland Park Arboretum.  I hiked with students before lunch, which gave me a great opportunity to chat with them.  These students continue to prove to me that I am in the right school.  You truly have some amazing children!