Intent vs. Impact

Recently in Advisory we have taken some time to think about the impact of our words.  A common skill middle school age students are still struggling with is the ability to consider how another person might perceive a situation.  While we have seen quite a bit of growth in our students' abilities to "put themselves in someone else's shoes" from their elementary years, this can still prove to be challenging for them.  A little brain development science helps to explain this trouble in teens quite well.

During adolescence the brain is experiencing a huge amount of growth in synapses, the connections between the various parts of the brain.  It is also pruning old synapses it does not need anymore.  This pruning and growth starts in the back of the brain and moves forward (from the back of the head to the forehead).  Located in the front is the prefrontal cortex.  This area of the brain controls impulses, forms judgements, weighs outcomes and helps us to understand others - and it is the last to be fully developed.  Usually this development is not complete until the mid-20s!

Knowing this about our students brains, we know they need repeated exposure and practice regarding thinking about how our words and actions impact others.  One thing that makes this discussion so tricky is the concept of intent.  Almost always when I talk with students about relational aggression I hear something about how it is "just joking."

At the end of February our advisors had meaningful discussions with their groups about how your intent does not always match the impact of your words and helped students to think through how to prevent negative consequences in their interactions with each other.  Each advisory was asked to make a visual reminder for us to display that will help us remember as we go about our days.  Here are some of the visuals that were created:

The drawings in the poster show a girl talking about how easy the test was.  The boy hears this and feels bad because the test was difficult for him (I LOVE this poster - I know I have talked with some of you about this concerning conversation that happens in our hallways sometimes!)  Created by Wolfe Advisory

Engage your brain and your heart before your mouth - simple and powerful!  Created by Maxson Advisory

Just as you can't put toothpaste back in a tube, you can't put your words back in your mouth - great concept!  Created by Mohr Advisory

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Oh my!  It's been awhile since I've added to the blog!  I've been working with the students and staff in so many great ways lately, let me update you!

5th grade
Approaching Spring Break means getting to know the 5th grade students who will be joining our middle school soon.  I've had the pleasure of talking with staff at Lower School regarding this amazing group of kids coming our way!  I will be visiting the 5th grade group in March to talk about friendships and conflicts.  I am looking forward to talking with them about this issue that is so central to their lives and getting to show them a little bit of what I do in the middle school.

6th grade
Together with our Learning Specialist, Susan Tuncten, I have been working with the 6th grade teachers to develop "mini-lessons" in the Plus Period time for students needing a boost.  We have met with students regarding test taking skills, how to ask for help, how to manage your time, what to do when you are absent, keeping your locker clean and more!  Click here to see a Test Taking Tips document created by some 6th grade students working to improve their test taking skills.

7th grade
I'm very excited to have the chance to talk with the 7th grade next week during the Career Kaleidoscope day.  I'll be meeting with all students at the end of their sessions to recap the day and talk about "The 4 Cs of 21st Century Skills" which are: critical thinking, communication, collaboration and creativity.  We will talk about how those are skills they are learning now and how that prepares them for success later.

8th grade
Last Friday I spent a portion of the day participating in East Asia Day activities.  Together we learned Feng Shui, how to use chopsticks, the art of Ikebana floral arrangements and how to write "horse" in Chinese calligraphy!  Such a fun day!

Earlier this week I had the chance to attend the annual KCPT Technology Conference.  I learned about so many great resources for bullying, college and career readiness, technology in the classroom and diversity awareness.  Now that I've had a couple days to get my head to stop spinning with possibilities, it's time to do some planning to bring in all this new learning I've experienced here to Pembroke Hill.  Better get to work!  Have a great weekend!

National School Counseling Week

The first week in February each year is a chance to recognize school counselors through National School Counseling Week and each year I find myself feeling ever more grateful to have found a career I enjoy so thoroughly.  

One of the things I look forward to the most is helping students discover who they are, both for a healthy self-awareness and in the hopes that they will spend their future days working in a field that fulfills them in the same way I feel fulfilled in mine.  Recently I have had some opportunities to be a part of this self-discovery on a large scale with students.  I am preparing an end of day summary session for the 7th grade to participate in following Career Kaleidoscope on March 7th.  While their professional lives are still some time away, this is often the time in a student's academic career they begin to question "Why do I have to do this?"  Being able to connect the learning experiences our students have now with their future endeavors is increasingly important as they near graduation and career exploration activities provide a new lens with which to have these discussions.  

At the end of January I was able to sit down to talk with the college counselors about ways I can help support the transition to the high school.  This past Monday, one of the ideas from that conversation was put into action in 8th grade math classes.  To help 8th grade students prepare for their upcoming Professional Day, we created portfolios in Missouri Connections (www.missouriconnections.org) and took one of the interest inventories to see which careers fit with activities we enjoy doing.  Students discussed how this website is a tool to get them started on their own personal career development journey and interests change over time.  We hope some students who were unsure who to shadow on Professional Day have some new insight as to how to approach this opportunity.  If your student missed this activity, make-ups will be held this coming Wednesday during Advisory.  Ask your 8th grader about his/her Missouri Connections profile and results.  If you would like to follow up with me regarding this program, please let me know!

I'll leave you this week with a link to the Senate bill officially recognizing National School Counseling Week and a sincere "Thank You" for welcoming me so warmly to Pembroke Hill this year!

Scholarship in focus

As previously mentioned, this quarter students are studying what it means to be a scholar.  Here at Pembroke Hill, we define scholarship in the following way:

• Engage the world with open mindedness, curiosity and imagination
• Seek understanding and truth through disciplined and thoughtful inquiry
• Pursue knowledge throughout one's lifetime

This week students were challenged to think about the way they approach the learning that occurs in their life by introducing the idea of fixed mindsets and growth mindsets.  The topic was introduced using this video.  I was able to be in one of the Advisory classes for the discussion that followed the video.  This particular group discussed whether or not they thought intelligence was something that could change over time, or if they felt it was more stable.  The students also talked about how we view and respond to criticism, as well as what it means to have to put effort into your school work.

Students have been invited to put the skills of effort and persistence into practice through our 30 Day Challenge, which officially begins today, though some students have begun already.  We are daring ourselves to try something new for 30 days that will enhance our lives in some way.  For example, my challenge is to read for fun for the next 30 days (I have let this small pleasure go recently in the midst of just being busy).  I have learned that students are working toward making someone smile each day, going to bed earlier and even giving up frozen yogurt at lunch! We'll check-in with students at the end of the 30 days to see how they did and what they gained from this experience!

In our staff meeting this morning we discussed a great technology tool that could help us enhance a learning environment that supports academic risk taking.  The Socrative website allows students to take online quizzes that give them immediate feedback on their understanding. When a student misses the concept, they can adjust their learning on their own.  This option may increase student participation in the lesson and enhance student connections with the material.  I'm giving some thought as to how I can use this tool in guidance lessons to check student understanding of the lesson objectives, while giving each budding scholar the chance to take a stab at the answer.  I'm anxious to use the knowledge I gain from their responses to improve my lessons and guide my work here at Pembroke Hill!  The students aren't the only learners around here :)

New Year, New Opportunities

Welcome back to a new semester!  It has been really wonderful seeing our students again and hearing about their relaxing and refreshing break.  I wanted to be sure to let you know about some opportunities being offered here in the counseling office this month and into the second half of our year.

First, I am going to be working with students in small groups on two topics.  The topics are Stress Management and Friendship Support.  Groups begin next week.  Students have all been informed of the opportunity.  A permission form is required to participate and is due on Friday of this week.  Sometimes students are unsure about participating in a group with the counselor, they worry about the stigma that it will be very "touchy/feely" - but I am working to let them know that counseling groups operate very much like activities I do with them in the classroom.  If you feel your student may benefit from time talking with peers about dealing with high stress levels or challenges that come with middle school friendships, please consider having them join one of these groups.  As always, feel free to call me for more information.

Second, I will be starting a new after school club that will meet on Mondays, called Community Club.  Our first meeting is today.  Community Club is focused on contributing to our positive school climate.  We will consider together what events we could sponsor.  I will be suggesting Kindness is Contagious Week in February as an example.  If the students are interested we may look into service projects for our Greater KC area as well.  I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with our students in this manner.

In Advisory this quarter students will be examining the concept of "scholarship."  We will be looking at the myths that our students sometimes accept when it comes to scholarship and encouraging them to look at risk taking/failure through a new lens.  Our hope is to further develop a love of life-long learning, create a learning atmosphere where academic risk taking is supported and to give students permission to let go of perfectionism while striving for excellence.  Each Monday in advisory students will discuss a concept related to scholarship and on Tuesdays students will be introduced to an example of someone in the world of business, sports, entertainment, etc who embodies the idea of scholarship as we see it.  This week students will watch a short video with Matt Cutts of Google. 

Lastly I wanted to share something really fun that has been happening in my little office.  Before break I had a puzzle on the table in my office and now I have coloring pages with colored pencils.  The students come in during their breaks to relax and enjoy a relaxing project together.  I have had the pleasure of getting to small talk with them and gain some insight into what is happening at school through their eyes.  Have I mentioned before that I have the best job in the world?

An Amazing Gift

Yesterday may have been my favorite day at Pembroke Hill so far!  I spent the morning at the bank feeding coins into the coin counting machine.  These coins came from our week long Advisory change drive contest.  Our students really came through!  In total $487.99 flooded the desk in the main office. 

In the end it was Mr. Hennessy's advisory who won the change drive.  So what happened with all that money?  This is the best part!  Hennessy's advisory, as the winners, were tasked with deciding which charity would receive the money raised.  I'm delighted to be able to tell you that the money went to pediatric cancer research, and in the most wonderful way.  One of our students has been selling cookies this week to raise money for just this cause.  It is near to her heart as her younger sister is a cancer survivor.  The money raised was given directly to our student to support her dedicated effort to help find a cure for pediatric cancers.  Kinda makes you love Pembroke Hill and these fabulous students even more, doesn't it?

As first semester draws to a close, I realize once again just how fortunate I am work in this incredible school.  In a small effort to show my gratitude I provided hot cocoa for students and staff this morning in my office.  The students were cheerful and relaxed as they added marshmallows to their drinks and headed out to tackle their tests. They are confident and ready to show us just how much they have learned this semester.  The students have certainly earned their upcoming two week break.  I sincerely hope this time leaves your family with many happy memories!  Enjoy your winter break - see you in January!

"Tis the season

Family gatherings, big meals, gift exchanges, traditions... sounds fun, doesn't it?  Anybody read this first line and also feel the stress building, the to-do list forming in your thoughts or the clock ticking away as you scramble to prepare?

December, while often a joyous month, can also bring with it a host of challenges.  Luckily for us, there are a few things you can do to ease the stress.

1. Set family priorities for the season - the intent of prioritizing is to limit trying to fit too much into a small amount of time.  Decide which traditions are important to you, ask your spouse and your children which traditions are their favorites and as a family consider which activities can be taken off your plate, even if just for this year.
2. Learn to say "no" - on the heels of prioritizing, is the task of holding to it!  Should guilt creep in, remind yourself that you are putting the NEED to relax and simply enjoy downtime first, and you can always feel good about that!
3. Use shortcuts - shop online, order pizza, pick up a pre-made dessert at the store.  
4. Focus on the meaningful - talk with your children about the reason behind the holiday you are celebrating.  Find ways to show gratitude and give to others.  
5. If you feel stress, that's ok!  Recognize it and take a step to reduce it.  
6. Get plenty of rest - sleep deficits are harmful to your brain's ability to problem solve.  So fall asleep on the couch during a favorite movie, retire early with a good book, or sneak in an afternoon nap.
7. Lastly, take pride that your example may be giving someone else the green light to let go of the idea of doing it all, and doing it perfectly, during the holidays. 

If you'd like to read more on the topic, I'd suggest the following two articles:
Stanford University
The Dougy Center - Grief during the holidays