Intent vs. Impact

Recently in Advisory we have taken some time to think about the impact of our words.  A common skill middle school age students are still struggling with is the ability to consider how another person might perceive a situation.  While we have seen quite a bit of growth in our students' abilities to "put themselves in someone else's shoes" from their elementary years, this can still prove to be challenging for them.  A little brain development science helps to explain this trouble in teens quite well.

During adolescence the brain is experiencing a huge amount of growth in synapses, the connections between the various parts of the brain.  It is also pruning old synapses it does not need anymore.  This pruning and growth starts in the back of the brain and moves forward (from the back of the head to the forehead).  Located in the front is the prefrontal cortex.  This area of the brain controls impulses, forms judgements, weighs outcomes and helps us to understand others - and it is the last to be fully developed.  Usually this development is not complete until the mid-20s!

Knowing this about our students brains, we know they need repeated exposure and practice regarding thinking about how our words and actions impact others.  One thing that makes this discussion so tricky is the concept of intent.  Almost always when I talk with students about relational aggression I hear something about how it is "just joking."

At the end of February our advisors had meaningful discussions with their groups about how your intent does not always match the impact of your words and helped students to think through how to prevent negative consequences in their interactions with each other.  Each advisory was asked to make a visual reminder for us to display that will help us remember as we go about our days.  Here are some of the visuals that were created:

The drawings in the poster show a girl talking about how easy the test was.  The boy hears this and feels bad because the test was difficult for him (I LOVE this poster - I know I have talked with some of you about this concerning conversation that happens in our hallways sometimes!)  Created by Wolfe Advisory

Engage your brain and your heart before your mouth - simple and powerful!  Created by Maxson Advisory

Just as you can't put toothpaste back in a tube, you can't put your words back in your mouth - great concept!  Created by Mohr Advisory