Odd as it may seem, when Josh Ochs was here talking to our students - and to some parents - I began to reflect on giving and gratitude. One of the ways Mr. Ochs encourages young adults to use social media is to highlight their community service and efforts to help others as sort of a self-marketing strategy. He points out, however, that whatever post one might make, the focus should not be on oneself, but rather on the organization and/or people served and must always include a "thank you" to those who made it possible. There is it, giving and gratitude in a social media conversation. (Side note: there should be a video of Josh Och's parent presentation available soon)
Additionally I have been reading Josh's book, Light, Bright and Polite, and when he focuses on this aspect of positive social media use, he also stresses being genuine. This is where it gets real for me. Most anyone can schedule volunteer work, show up, complete the tasks and check it off a list. How do I get my own children - and my students - to be genuinely invested in others, sincerely grateful for what they have and inspired to continue to give of themselves?
First, I know I have to model giving and gratitude. I have to get out there and give to others. Simple acts like courteous driving, paying for someone's lunch and helping another person through a doorway, or more involved work, such as donating goods, giving my time at a local charity and taking dinner to a sick friend. I will also need to talk to my kids about what I am grateful for - from nice weather, to bedtime snuggles, to our warm home, and full refrigerator. With my students I can comment on how nice it is to have a bookstore on campus, caring people making us warm meals each day and our own community in advisory. I also know, I will need to persist in these endeavors. It won't work for me to focus on this for a week or two and then slide back into the old routine.
Gratitude can be taught when we find the good in tough situations. I know this is an area I could use some growth! When my son struggles to read a challenging word, I can celebrate his determination and effort. When my daughter has to wait in a long line with me, I can point out that we can do something fun to pass the time, such as play "I Spy." When a student complains about course work being difficult, I can balance an empathetic response with one that points out the ways in which the student is rising to the challenge.
These ideas and more are included in a great, brief article I've included here if you'd like to do more reading on this topic: 9 Ways to Foster Gratitude in Teenagers.
I believe we are at an advantage at Pembroke Hill. Our families value generosity and gratitude and it is very clearly woven into the fabric of our school. Just in the last week I am aware of two student groups volunteering at Children's Place with young children and on our Lower School campus, hundreds of lunches were packed for Harvesters to give to kids around our city. I'm almost certain other amazing things have happened within our PHS community that have positively impacted others. I am even more certain that the students participating in these events were proud of their efforts and felt the joy that only giving to others can give us. I'll leave you with some photos of one additional service event that occurred in the middle school last Monday. Several students, and Dr. Leonard, worked hard to decorate boxes that will be filled with treats and sent to our service men and women who are serving our country during this holiday season. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
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