The September Slump

Recently I've found myself in many conversations that involve someone feeling tired, overwhelmed, unhappy, or some similar sentiment.  I find this to be very common at the end of September in a school setting.  The newness of the school has long worn off and a feeling of routine has set in.  Additionally teachers are making deeper connections in their content areas, projects are a part of the school work, tests are being given to assess if the students are learning the material, and sports are nearing the end of their season, meaning competition is at it's height.  This can be a challenging time for middle school students, parents and teachers alike.  Be watchful for signs that your child is not coping well: sleeplessness, extreme moodiness, change in appetite, lack of desire to participate in normal activities, etc.  If you see any of these warning signs that additional support might be needed, please reach out to me, your child's advisor, a particular teacher, coach, our principals, or your pediatrician.

That being said, allow me to share with you what has been happening in our Wellness and Advisory programs the last couple of weeks.

6th Grade

The 6th graders finished their Mindset series in Wellness on Tuesday September 14.  Students watched the video Can Video Games Make You Smarter?, which they very much enjoyed!  After that students worked in groups to complete a packet about how your brain can become smarter.  Through the packet students were instructed to think about how their muscles grow with increased use, and how their brain can be like a muscle.  They also explored the concept of working at something new or difficult repeatedly in order to become proficient.  

On Thursday September 18, 6th graders met with Mrs. Viene during our Advisory Rotations to talk about social media, specifically, who should be on your friends list and why.  She shared just how easy it is to find out what you want to know about someone through social media apps by using real life examples that surprised our students!

I have recently sent out a quick Google Form to 6th graders, checking in with them to see how their transition in to middle school is going.  Students have the option to request a meeting with me at the end of the form and I am working to meet with those students who make such a request.  By and large students are reporting positive progress in adjusting to middle school.  However there are also about 20 kids who still have yet to answer.  

To help ensure that our students have multiple opportunities to have support with their transition to middle school, Susan Tuncten (Middle School Learning Specialist) and I will be hosting "Chip Chats" with all 6th graders.  We will meet in 4 groups - one 6th grader from each advisory in each group during Plus Period.  (We'll be talking with Mr Dekker about our Band students being able to attend).  During our Chip Chats, we'll share chips and various dips and talk about the challenges of adjusting to 6th grade, the joys of middle school so far, strategies for success, and anything else that may come up.  These chats begin Friday October 9.  

7th Grade

During Advisory Rotations on Thursday September 18, our 7th graders worked with our library staff and Mr. Bartelli to practice using their new iPrint functions on their iPads.  Hopefully your student feels comfortable printing from the iPad at school now!

7th Grade also had two days of Wellness last week that focused on having a Growth Mindset.  The 7th graders took a quick self-assessment as to how much they had a Fixed Mindset (Intelligence does not change, challenges only expose weaknesses, ,working hard means you are not smart) and how much they had a Growth Mindset (I learn from mistakes, I can improve my intelligence, I like working hard and being challenged).  From there the 7th graders learned about the parts of the brain, what they do and what happens in your brain when you are learning.  Some of the instruction on the brain was given in a traditional lecture format, whereas students learned other parts of the brain using mnemonics, color aides and memory tricks.  On the 2nd day, students entered the Wellness class and began by taking a Kahoot quiz (online quiz with instant results) over the parts of the brain.  What do you know?  The traditional lecture style taught material was not remembered nearly as well as the material the students associated with colors and memory tricks!  We talked about why that is and learned that our brains had formed stronger connections between neurons when we used the memory aids, therefore we remembered it better!  Students were encouraged to use these memory aids when studying in their classes.  We wrapped up our lesson by talking about the students had grown their intelligence regarding what the brain does and then practiced moving toward a Growth Mindset by taking Fixed Mindset statements and converting them to Growth Mindset statements.  And as a bonus, the students ended up creating a bulletin board in my office!

As the 7th graders worked through the fixed mindset statements, they sometimes had a tendency to try replacing the statement with a perfectionist kind of view "I'm not good at math" would become "I'm always good at math" and we discussed how that is still a fixed mindset.

8th Grade
Last week our 8th graders spent a significant amount of time discussing Leadership.  On Thursday September 17, they met during Advisory Rotations to think about what it means to be a leader in a mixed grade Advisory.

Of course, Friday the 18th the 8th Grade participated in Leadership Day, which was great fun and a lot of discussion regarding what it takes to be a leader.  Students were able to debrief about Leadership Day on Monday during Advisory.  The 8th grade team plans to continue 8th grade leadership activities throughout the school year.

Understanding Mindset and Preparing to be Leaders

Today I have heard a handful of students express that they were up late doing homework, had weekends full of activities, have had two tests in a certain subject, etc.  The easing in of the school year has ended.  This is a good time for us to really begin our watchfulness.  Who is not sleeping enough, who is in need of a friend, who needs academic support?  If you feel your child could use some coaching, assistance, or a listening ear, please let us know.  You can start with your child's advisor, perhaps during your parent conference this Friday afternoon.  I will be at school that afternoon meeting with parents from my advisory, but if you would like to schedule any time with me, let me know and we can probably work something out.  

Here's a recap of what is happening with each grade level in Counseling and Wellness:

6th Grade

On Friday of last week I again visited with the 6th grade during their Plus Period.  I shared the social media survey results with them and then had them bring up a picture they had taken on their phone or iPad recently.  From there students were asked to decide in their head if this was a picture they would post online, in an app or send in a text.  We used a list of questions from a quiz entitled "To Post or Not To Post" on the NSTeens.org website.  From what I could tell by watching their reactions, most of our 6th graders had pictures that would pass the "test" and would be safe to post, although I did not look at photos so as to allow them some privacy during the activity.  We wrapped up by watching a video, also on the same website, about a boy who's friends create a website to rate the girls in their school.   He decides to participate in rating the girls and later finds out that his sister was added to the website and rated by other boys.  We discussed whether or not this would be considered "cyber-bullying" and some possibilities for responding as the principal of the school or as one of the girls rated on the website.  All in all, we had a great conversation and lots of participation!

Today the students met with me for their first Wellness lesson.  We discussed the idea of mindset.  Students self-assessed what level of growth mindset, or fixed mindset they had.  A fixed mindset is one that is rigid, and feels skill level, ability and intelligence do not change much - whereas a growth mindset believes that with hard work and dedication, we can improve our intelligence, success and ability.  Most of our students hover around the middle, a slight fixed mindset, or a slight growth mindset.  I'm hoping that I can nudge more students to a stronger growth mindset!  After our self-assesssment, students worked in groups to answer opinion questions about what intelligence means and how we can measure it.  

The final part of our Wellness lesson was to learn the various parts of the brain and what they do.  We also learned about neurons, which are cells that send electrical signals through the brain and to the body - they form connections when we learn new things and strengthen and stretch our brain!  We'll learn more about this tomorrow in Day 2 of this two day Mindset series in Wellness.  I'll be sure to share about that in next week's blog.

On Thursday during Advisory all 6th graders will be with Mrs. Viene to talk about just who should be on your friends list in social media apps and how quickly information can travel through the internet!

7th Grade

During Advisory rotations this week, the 7th grade will visit the library to get a reminder about the resources and services available in the library and learning lab.  The 7th graders will begin their wellness lessons on the 23rd.  They will also participate in a 2 day Mindset series, similar to the lessons the 6th grade are doing now.  

8th Grade

The Signs of Suicide presentation has been rescheduled for September 24, as our guest speaker was ill last week.  I'll be sure to update you about what the students learned after their lesson.  This Thursday in Advisory Rotations 8th graders will be discussing what it means to be a leader in Advisory and what roadblocks they sometimes face as Advisory leaders.  This activity will be in preparation for  Friday's Leadership Day.  During Leadership Day students work in groups to complete challenging tasks and then debrief during a faculty led discussion within their small groups.  Watch for a recap in next week's blog!

Finally - we still need volunteers to help this Sunday from 7:00 am - 10:30 am during the Broadway Bridge Run at the Pembroke Hill water table!  Please let me know if your child/family can help encourage the runners whose entry fees go to Special Olympics.  Our exact meeting location should be known soon.  Thanks much!

Off and Running

The counseling program is in motion in the middle school.  Here's what's happening and what is upcoming:

6th Grade
On Friday during the Plus Period, 6th grade students provided feedback about their social media use that will now be used to design "Digital Citizenship" lessons.  Our first lesson will be this Friday, agian during Plus Period.  Students will be discussing how to be safe, respectful and compassionate online, as well as how to respond when someone else is not using social media appropriately.  Here are the highlights of our 6th graders responses:

• The most frequently used social media sites are:  YouTube (76%), Instagram (55%), Snapchat (23%), Pinterest (22%) and Vine (16%).  Others that made the list with under 10% usage include: Kik, Twitter, Tumblr, and Wishbone
• 9% of 6th graders do not use social media at all
• Of those that do use social media, most of them (42%) are checking it 1-2 times per day.  28% check 3-4 times per day, 16% check less than once a day and 13% are checking 5 or more times
• The most commonly seen hurtful communication our 6th graders encounter online is exclusion of others (44%), then rumors about other people (35%), next is conflicts between others (32%), followed by teasing/name calling (23.5%).  12% of students reported witnessing targeted bullying of others.  When asked if any of these things were ever directed at them, 9% of our students felt they had been excluded online, 3% had seen rumors about themselves, 3% had online conflicts with themselves and another person, and 3% felt they had been a target of bullying.  

This Friday (and during subsequent lessons if needed) we'll discuss how to respond to online exclusion, name calling, rumors, conflict and bullying - whether it's directed at you or someone else.  A great resource, that I'll be using as well, is nsteens.org.  

Next Monday and Tuesday our 6th grade will meet for their first Wellness lessons.  The topic will be focusing on what it means to have a growth mindset and the science of how the brain learns.  Stay tuned for more information!

7th Grade

Last Thursday during advisory time all 7th grade students met with Mrs. Viene and Mr. Bartelli to clean up their Google Drive.  Students were guided through what to do with documents from 6th grade.  Through this session, the aim was to help students develop strategies to manage their school responsibilities and to become skilled at using the iPad as an academic resource.  These abilities contribute to a student having a positive academic self-concept that will allow him/her to be a self-directed and independent learner.  

Wellness lessons will begin for the 7th grade on September 23rd.  Their first topic for discussion will be around what it means to have a fixed mindset vs. a growth mindset.  We'll discuss how changing your thinking can impact your performance in school, sports and activities.  I'll update with more information after the lessons occur.

8th Grade

8th graders were asked to do something a bit unusual during this past Thursday's advisory rotations; they were asked to Google their name.  Many students found pictures of themselves and family members, past class projects, news stories in which their name or family member's name was included, and, of course, things that were not related to them at all.  After the searching, we dove into conversation about what it means to have a "digital identity" and how to influence your online persona.  This led to a conversation about privacy settings and care in what you post, comment on, or "like" online.  Students were encouraged to search their name often, both on Google and in various social media sites, so as to be aware of what is associated with their name in cyberspace.  

This Thursday our 8th grade students will meet for their first Wellness lessons.  We will have a speaker from the National Alliance on Mental Illness, Kansas City (NAMI-KC http://www.namikc.org/) here to speak with the students about suicide prevention.  Specifically they will teach the "Signs of Suicide" program, a research-based prevention program focusing on teaching what to look for in others that might indicate that they could harm themselves.  The program goes further in providing strategies to intervene and get help for anyone you might be concerned about.  I will be sure to include follow up information in my blog next week.  For now you can read more at this website:Signs of Suicide Evidence Based Practice.  This presentation is happening in September as it is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.  To learn more about this campaign and/or the warning signs of suicide, go to this link: Suicide Awareness Prevention.  

All Grades

Congrats to Longhofer advisory on their victory in the Advisory Door Decoration contest!  

All students are invited to volunteer on Sunday September 20 at the PHS watertable in the Broadway Bridge Run benefiting Special Olympics.  We'll be handing out water to the passing half marathon runners and cheering them on!  The run begins at 7:00 so volunteers will need to arrive prior to that time, but I expect we'll be done before 11:00 am.  Students wishing to volunteer should talk with me,  Mrs. Kobolt.

Students who complete 50-100+ hours of community service this school year before April will be eligible to apply for a Presidential Service Award (http://www.presidentialserviceawards.gov/the-award).  Students should see me to complete their documentation and have their hours approved.  Students will hear about this opportunity at the school-wide assembly on Thursday.  Another award that students might be interested in is the Prudential Spirit of Community Award.  Applications for this award are due November 3 of this year.  

When to contact the counselor

Welcome back for another week!  I hope your first weekend found you with time to relax together as a family.  Given that your student has both an advisor and a school counselor, I thought this week I'd take some time to discuss when it's appropriate to contact the school counselor in context with when it is best to start with the advisor.

The school counselor role at Pembroke Hill is centered around the social-emotional and personal growth of our students.  Most of the time when I talk with an individual student, a small group of students, a colleague or a parent, we are discussing mental health concerns, friendship concerns, social dynamics, self-care skills, family situations and the like.  Additionally, I am involved in other conversations regarding topics such as, academic support, leadership skills, team building and school climate.  Because there is a wide umbrella and some overlap between the advisor role and the counselor role, it may be tough to know who to call first.

I wanted to share a link with you to an article that details the role of the school counselor that you may find helpful.  You can read it here: Understanding the School Counselor/Parent Connection.  Additionally I've listed below some common reasons I am usually contacted by a parent:

• When a student is experiencing a social conflict with a peer or peer group
• When there has been a change in the dynamics of the family that is impacting the child
• When a student is experiencing a personal struggle such as low self-esteem, questioning their sexual identity/gender, disrespectful behavior at home, a change in interests or peer group, etc.
• When a student needs support developing positive coping skills
• When a student is experiencing a difficult relationship with a teacher, coach or other adult
• When a student is experiencing anxiety: regarding school, extra-curricular activities, social situations, etc. 
• When a student is experiencing sadness, isolation, hopelessness or other similar emotions
• When a student has recently begun working with a therapist, has recently been diagnosed with a mental illness or is suspected of having a mental illness
• When collaboration with other staff members, such as the advisor, have stalled or when a parent/student feels more comfortable contacting the counselor for help
• When confidentiality needs are paramount

With each parent contact, the counselor response varies.  One size fits all most definitely does not apply here.  Our conversation may or may not result in my speaking with your child; in fact, often times it does not.  Many times I will not share the details of our conversation with any other faculty members either.  What will be shared, and what I will do to respond, will be decided upon together as we talk.  

Your child's advisor is an excellent resource for you as well.  Contact the advisor when you are curious to know how your child is doing in his/her classes, have a question about a school event, want to get some academic support for your child, have a minor social concern, or just feel most comfortable sharing whatever need your child has with the advisor.  

Whatever the reason you choose to reach out to the school for support, and whomever you connect with first, please know that we want to have the same goals for your child that you do.  Parenting is tricky, to put it mildly, and we are not in the business of judging.  We'll do our best to make sure that we are working together to see your child through whatever challenge may be facing them at the time.  Hopefully one day we'll look back and say "Remember when...." with a smile at how far your child has come!

Welcome to 2015-2016!

Greetings Middle School families!

It's finally here, the first day of school!  Have you noticed the red carpet our students walk on to get into school the first day?  Our Student Council ensures this fun tradition is in place each year.  I think that is one of my favorite things about Pembroke Hill, the faculty is not alone in their preparations for the school year.  Our students and families are just as involved.  I hope that you find that sense of community in our middle school this year as well.  We are a team, on an important 3 year journey.  It is an honor for us to be a part of this transformative time in your child's life.

I thought it would be appropriate for my first blog entry this year to give you a sneak peek into the ways the counseling and Advisory programs will be supporting you and your child over the next 9+ months.  To do that, I'd ask that you look over the following two documents:

Counseling Program Overview 2015-2016  Here you can see an outline of what is planned each month in Wellness and Advisory, as well as other relevant activities.  This plan is created to be flexible.  The flexibility is necessary as we schedule outside speakers to visit our school, work around the needs of teacher curriculum, address the needs of our students, etc.  The weekly blog entries will provide updates to the plan, as well as follow up information after the events.

Advisory Goals and Priorities  This document highlights the larger picture of this year's Advisory program, giving you some insight as to how we work to support each student through their time with their advisor.

If you look over this information and find yourself with unanswered questions, please feel free to contact me via email or phone (816-936-1200).

I hope your commute home is filled with fun stories from the first day.  However, just in case your teen gives you only, "It was fine," I have added a few pictures below to help fill in the gaps!

We are less than 2 weeks from the end of the year - in 14 days finals will be over, fields trips completed, everyone will know who is in which advisory, and we'll be looking at summer camps, vacations, sleeping in, and all the things that come with the break between school years.

One thing that has wrapped up is our 4th quarter advisory projects.  Each advisory took some time to focus on one of our 4 values: Respect, Compassion, Scholarship or Integrity.  From there the students and advisor worked together to design a project, carry it out and then present it to the other advisories.  We had our presentations on Tuesday of this week.  Some of the ideas shared were making blankets for Children's Place, partnering with low income schools to read/provide attendance incentives, making gift bags for Operation Breakthrough, having a "topic jar" in which students all submitted random topics that were then drawn, researched and discussed, and each person teaching their fellow advisees something new.  Some really wonderful projects!  There were many others, all equally impressive!  It was very inspiring to hear all the projects and has given us a great idea list to use next year!

Wellness lessons will wrap up on Tuesday of next week.  This past Wednesday a former PHS student talked candidly with our 8th grade about how she became involved with substance use, and then addiction, in high school.  Her agenda was not to persuade kids one way or another, or tell them what decisions to make, but rather to share her own struggles and how drinking and drugs impacted her life.  She did a wonderful job describing the normalcy around her early drinking days and why she got into the partying on the weekend lifestyle - and how it quickly turned into more.  Please do ask your 8th graders about the speaker.  Some possible questions to ask:

• What did you think of Kate's story?
• Why do you think Kate's drinking became an addiction?
• Have you thought about what you will do when someone invites you to a party with alcohol?
• Lots of people talk about how normal it is to drink and experiment with drugs in high school, do you think it's normal?

Experts agree that having open conversations like this with your teen will set the stage for them to come to you when they encounter a tough situation.  If you can limit telling them what to do, and let them do most of the talking, you do most of the listening, you are building a new kind of trust with your teen. We hope these type of Wellness lessons will allow you to have these conversations at home. 

There will be lessons for 7th and 8th grade on Monday and Tuesday of next week with speakers from First Call, a drug/alcohol recovery and prevention agency.  They will discuss the impact of alcohol and drugs on a developing teenage brain, as well as refusal strategies, followed by someone who is in recovery sharing their story and how it impacted those around them.  Should be another great opportunity to ask some of the same questions as above.  

Thanks to all of you for another great year in the middle school!  Hope you have a wonderful summer break!  

Mental Health Month

Welcome to May!  Yesterday I had my first May Day experience here at Pembroke Hill - what a treat!  I was blown away at the work that must go into putting on such a fun afternoon each year!  It was a great moment of joy in my week.  Tonight I look forward to watching our students perform in the 30th annual Showcase, yet another event that is done up right around here, but not without tremendous preparation!

I find it so fitting that May is chosen to be Mental Health Month.  May is sunny and warm, but often the weather accompanies busy schedules, long to-do lists, feeling overwhelmed, feeling run down, perhaps even feeling sad.  This is all especially true for our young people, who are still developing the coping skills to get them through challenging times.  In fact, suicide rates tend to rise in the spring.  Thus, we have an important job to do as the adults in our children's lives.  Let's be vigilant.  Let's look for signs of distress.  Let's talk with each other.  Let's show our kids that we are here for them.  Let's point out their small successes.  Let's ensure some down time.

In the spirit of mental health awareness I thought I would devote the rest of this blog to sharing some wonderful community resources with you.

First is a community forum coming up soon regarding social media safety.  Many thanks to Coach Budzinski for sharing this with me!
#We'reBackOnline

Next I want to direct you to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).  This link is to their Kansas City chapter.  You can find opportunities to get involved, information about support groups and more!
http://www.namikc.org/

Also from NAMI is a great fact sheet about how stigma impact mental illness perceptions and treatment
Mental Illness and Stigma

And from the US Department and Health and Human Services, some myths and facts about mental illness
http://www.mentalhealth.gov/basics/myths-facts/

We have many more excellent mental health services here in the area.  If I can ever be of assistance to you in connecting with counseling services, please let me know.